


Deus ex Mycroft

by Rasalahuge



Series: Deus ex Mycroft [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Supernatural
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It, Gen, Supernatural Season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 12:39:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4263585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rasalahuge/pseuds/Rasalahuge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Mycroft fixes <em>Supernatural</em> season 6 and Castiel meets his Father who is not at all what he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deus ex Mycroft

**Author's Note:**

> Just to make it clear: Remiel = Anthea

  


**Dues ex Mycroft  
(God in Mycroft)**

**Alternately: Mycroft ex Machina (Mycroft in the Machine)  
Also Alternately: In which Mycroft fixes _Supernatural_ Season 6 and Castiel meets his Father **

Mycroft Holmes was, in no way exaggerating, an extremely busy man. Well, man was perhaps an underestimation of what he was but for the purposes of this situation that small fact was mostly irrelevant. Mycroft was so busy, in fact, that sleep and food were generally dismissed in favour of more work regardless of what his younger brother Sherlock might claim. All work and no rest, let alone play, made for an extremely and constantly stressed man-shaped being. It was no surprise then that when someone threw a spanner in the works his first instinct was to yell at the person involved while simultaneously fixing things but it did make Mycroft a difficult man to work with, or worse work _for_.

If there was one thing that did leave Mycroft feeling relieved most days was that he rarely had to concern himself with the more supernatural side of things. Sure occasionally something supernatural decided to set up in London but they were dealt with easily with one very pointed talk before they decided that perhaps Birmingham or Cardiff might be a better choice. Other than those talks he left everything supernatural to those who he had firm confidence would not muck it up.

Of course, because this was Mycroft and the universe hated him with a passion, they did proceed to muck it up rather spectacularly.

It was perhaps a good thing for those involved that the opening of a Cage that was not meant to be opened without his express permission coincided with several catastrophic events not limited to three civil wars; twelve collapsed governments; three counts of mass genocide and, most importantly, Sherlock catching the attention of a needy, obsessive, psychopathic criminal mastermind and getting a painfully human flatmate. As it was he barely had the time to arrange for those who could fix the problem to be in the right place at the right time before moving on to other things. If he yelled down the phone at Joshua, his personal assistant for all things supernatural, well Joshua was infinitely more patient than he was and not at all afraid of passing the blame where it really should be.

When the Cage was locked again, this time with a couple of extra prisoners, Mycroft sighed in relief and proceeded to focus more attention on James Moriarty. The last thing they needed was for him to realise that there was something not quite right the with Holmes brothers. Disastrous wasn’t a word Mycroft particularly enjoyed employing. He still had to go and sort out those idiots who started the Apocalypse, apparently because they were bored, but nothing was on fire which, as far as Mycroft was concerned, meant they could stew in the corner for a little while his hand-picked babysitter glared at them.

Inconveniently he received word that said babysitter had gone and started a civil war at the same time as he was overseeing Moriarty’s detainment.

“For God’s sake,” Mycroft pinched the bridge of his nose as he read the notification on his phone. He refused to contemplate the irony of that statement and instead focused on making sure that the every curious Moriarty didn’t pick up on anything that might hint at what the problem was.

“What _has_ dear Sherlock done this morning?” The criminal purred and Mycroft couldn’t even bring himself to be amused that Moriarty had read all the correct evidence and still made the wrong deduction. Then again it was clear that Mycroft had just received news of a more personal nature and as far as Moriarty knew the only personal life Mycroft had was Sherlock.

“Do excuse me,” Mycroft said without answering, “I need to deal with this,”

“By all means,” Moriarty said politely and sounding delighted. Mycroft ignored him.

Instead he returned to his office where Remiel, the wonderful, efficient worker that she was, was sat organising paperwork for him.

“My dear I need you to clear my schedule for the next two hours and then escort Raphael and Castiel up here when they arrive,” Mycroft informed her and Remiel looked up, eyes sharp and knowing.

“Of course Sir,” She answered promptly, already picking her blackberry up the make the necessary arrangements. The moment she left the room Mycroft called Joshua.

 _“Sir?”_ Joshua didn’t sound all that surprised to be hearing from him. Probably he was expecting to get yelled at again.

“Joshua, I need you to send Raphael and Castiel to my office. This has gone quite far enough,” Mycroft informed his assistant.

 _“At once Sir,”_ Joshua replied and hung up. He was efficient like that that was why Mycroft liked him so much.

Sitting down behind his desk Mycroft passed the time waiting for the new arrivals by completing the paperwork Remiel had left on his desk. He was just completing a requisition form when Remiel opened the door showing in the two miscreants who looked torn between shock, anger and contrition. Mycroft glanced at his assistant and offered her the form he had just completed.

“Thank you my dear. See to it that Death gets this promptly, its past time we dealt with Adam and Samuel’s situation. Is there anything else urgent that needs seeing to?” He enquired as she took the form.

“No sir,” Remiel replied smartly even as she took the form and handed a file back, “However this arrived. It’s Gabriel’s six month report,” Mycroft’s eyebrow raised.

“ _Why_ is Gabriel still sending me six month reports, he’s dead?” He asked and Remiel shrugged one delicate shoulder.

“I think he’s bored,” She answered easily and Mycroft huffed a small sigh and took the file. Remiel left.

“Sit,” He told the two beings in front of him sharply, his voice cold, as he set the file down and flicked through it. As he expected the report was half report and half petition for resurrection. Not terribly surprising. He’d deal with it later. He set the file aside and reached for the next bit of paperwork, he intended on making the two in front of him squirm a little first.

“Fa…” Raphael was, naturally, the first to break but Mycroft held up a single hand and silenced her. He finished the report he was reading, signed it in triplicate and set it aside. He didn’t reach for another. Instead he looked up and studied the two beings before him.

To human eyes they were opposites. Raphael with her dark skin, sharp suit and fathomless, almost black eyes, was trying to portray intimidation and fear. Castiel on the other hand with windswept black hair, wide impossibly blue eyes and trench coat gave off an air of innocence while still maintaining the sharp edges of a soldier.

“Contrary to popular opinion,” Mycroft said his voice remaining hard and cold, “Running the universe, even for me, is not an easy task. It is extremely time consuming, complicated and the tiniest mistake can, in fact, lead to a disaster of infinite proportions. One speck of dust in the wrong place at the wrong time can bring down a solar system.” A slight exaggeration but worth it as the two before him flinched slightly. “Raphael when you, Michael and Gabriel swore to me you were ready for the responsibility and would actually pull your weight in regards to keeping the universe running smoothly I took you at your word. I trusted you to keep the supernatural in balance and as you are well aware there are very few beings I trust even slightly.” Raphael winced again. “I assumed, apparently wrongly, that my three eldest children who I had been grooming for this position for millions of years and who were, in actual fact, _grown adults_ were capable and didn’t need _hand-holding_ through every decision.” His tone was cutting and targeted and he knew that Raphael was quailing now. Anger alone had rarely worked against Raphael and her siblings but anger and disappointment mixed together were a potent weapon. “Perhaps you can explain to me then why then, you and Michael decided to end the world?”

“You said…” Raphael started.

“Yes I told you what parts you would play in the End but what exactly did I say that led you to believe that the End was supposed to be _now_?” Mycroft demanded. Raphael swallowed heavily and sank down in her seat, apparently suitably ashamed.

“We hadn’t heard from you in so long… We thought…” She swallowed again, “We were told you were dead,” Mycroft frowned.

“So you decided the only course was the end the world?” He let his eyes narrow, “I expect that sort of poor logical thought process from humans Raphael, not from _you_ ,” He leant forward slightly in his seat and fixed Raphael with a pointed Look.

“Raphael, let me make this inescapably clear, I am furious and extremely disappointed. You should thank your younger brother and his friends for cleaning this mess up without me having to get involved because I assure you if I had then you’d be sitting in that Cage with Lucifer and Michael right now. As it is I am, _very reluctantly_ , giving you a chance to earn my trust back. With your three siblings locked up or dead I need you to remain otherwise I will have to take back the responsibilities I gave you and quite frankly I do not have the time. You are however, as of this moment, on probation. Step out of line again and I _will_ intervene and you _won’t_ enjoy it. Am I clear?” He said and Raphael swallowed, nodding her head. “Good,” He sat back and let his eyes switch over to Castiel.

“Now Castiel,” He frowned once more and Castiel trembled slightly. “I was very impressed with your work during the Apocalypse, which you really should have realised give the multiple resurrections and promotion. However I admit, perhaps I should have been clearer in my intentions, you’re young yet and I can’t expect you to understand a situation which you have never been introduced to. In short: I run the universe; it’s a difficult and time consuming task. Michael, Lucifer, Raphael and Gabriel were supposed to assist me with that and you and your siblings assist _them_. It is perhaps unfortunate that we’re all family, it makes things harder and more emotionally charged, however that is something I am not willing to change now. Clearly,” Mycroft gestured to the still penitent Raphael, “Some things went wrong on their side which unfortunately coincided with a _lot_ of things going wrong on my side and you were caught in the middle. I dumped the responsibility on you without a word not because I didn’t care but because I knew you could handle it far better than any others. I am, as Raphael will no doubt attest to, a demanding and exacting boss and even more demanding father. I expect you all to live up to your potential with or without me.” He paused and saw the understanding sink into Castiel’s eyes. “That being said while it pleases me that you rose to the challenge as I knew you could I am _extremely_ disappointed in what happened afterwards.” He reached out to open a drawer and pulled out a file which he flicked open. “Lying, extortion, manipulation, accessory to torture, accessory to murder, what is essentially drug abuse, theft… I could go on,” He closed the file and set it down in front of him as Castiel flinched.

“I do understand you know.” He said, slightly more gently, “You were in an unwinnable situation and I am the last person to lecture on the demerits of the phrase ‘the end justifies the means’ however I expected better of you Castiel. Dealing with Crowley, lying about it, attempting to break open a realm that is sealed for a very good reason… these are _not_ the actions of the one who chose to prevent the Apocalypse for the sake of friendship, responsibility and compassion. You _will_ cease. Immediately. The deal you have with Crowley will be terminated directly and an official reprimand will be entered into your permanent record.”

Castiel swallowed and looked down at the floor, clearly apologetic.

“You and Raphael will put your differences aside and work together to heal the rift among your followers. Raphael, Castiel will be your personal assistant from this point onwards however Castiel I expect you to keep Raphael in check as much as she will keep you in check.” Mycroft let his eyes travel back to Raphael who looked displeased but was clearly not about to object. “You will do your jobs and handle the supernatural and, if you both behave, will be rewarded for it. Do you understand?”

“Yes Father,” The two contrite beings answered simultaneously.

“Good,” Mycroft answered, “You do not want me to have to drag you in here for a chat again.” He reached then for his next piece of paperwork. “Dismissed,” He said and the two of them stood. Raphael headed for the door immediately but Castiel hesitated and Mycroft looked up at him.

“Yes Castiel?” He inquired.

“Father what will you do about Gabriel?” Castiel asked quietly and ashamedly. Mycroft quirked an eyebrow at him, questioning. “He made mistakes but he helped us in the end. Told Dean and Sam how to open the Cage again, is that not worth some leniency?” Mycroft set his pen aside once more and stood. He stepped around his desk and pressed a hand to the back of Castiel’s neck. Those blue eyes widened even further in surprise at being touched.

“You are a good person Castiel,” Mycroft murmured, “Just as you feel emotions differently to humans, I feel emotions differently to you. I am, often, cold and harsh. I do however love you and your siblings and I am proud of you Castiel.” He tugged Castiel’s head down, just slightly, and pressed a kiss and blessing to the dark locks of hair. “Don’t you worry for Gabriel, he will be rewarded exactly as he deserves and, given his trickster days, it will be suitably ironic.” He let Castiel raise his head again and gave him the gentlest smile he was capable of. “Now go. Do me a favour and keep Raphael in line,” He said and Castiel looked back up with eyes that lit up with delight and awe. He nodded, just once, grave but unable to hide his feelings and headed for the door after Raphael. “Oh and Castiel?” Mycroft called after him and the man-shaped being paused and looked back. “I expect the weapons Balthazar stole to be returned immediately,” He said firmly and Castiel nodded.

“Yes Father,” Castiel said and departed after Raphael. Mycroft returned to his desk, pleased with how things had turned out. Of course, because he was Mycroft and the universe hated him with a passion, this was the moment Remiel gave a perfunctory knock and stepped into the room.

“Sir, your brother and Dr Watson are on their way,” She informed him and he sighed, heavily.

“Wonderful,” He mused and looked up at his assistant, “Thank you Remiel, you can show them in once they arrive,”

“Yes sir,” Remiel nodded and made to the leave the room. As she reached the door however she paused and looked back, millions of years weighing down her gaze. “Sir?”

“Yes my dear?” Mycroft asked.

“You’ve never asked me to get involved,” She sounded uncertain.

“You know if you wished to remain with your siblings you only had to ask,” Mycroft informed her, “However if you don’t mind being my general dogsbody I find you quite irreplaceable my dear.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Remiel’s smile lit up her face, “I just wanted to hear your answer,”

“Go on,” Mycroft nodded to the door, “Sherlock will be here soon.”

Much to Mycroft’s surprise Remiel turned back into the room and swept across it to plant a kiss on his cheek.

“You might not be the most demonstrative father,” She told him firmly, “But you are ours and we wouldn’t want another,” With that she was gone and Mycroft’s lips twitched into a smile.

Then he turned back to his paperwork turning over his plans for a suitable combined reward and punishment for Gabriel even as he made sure that the universe didn’t implode on itself.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a Sherlock story which quoted a 'Deus ex Mycroft' in regards to him saving Sherlock and John from the pool in Season 1 (it was an old story pre-season 2) which was a nice play on words but doesn't actually translate. it should have been 'Mycroft ex Machina'. Deus ex Mycroft is closer to God in Mycroft which I thought was hilarious and thus this came about.
> 
> For those waiting for the next installments of the PokemonxSupernatural crossover, I apologise for the unintentional hiatus. They aren't abandoned, I just had some issues with half of them suddenly deciding to develop plots. I will post more soon, I promise.


End file.
